Yesterday I was having one of those days at work where I was just working mindlessly. Endorsing checks, proformas, proformas, proformas, bank statements and lots of other Bankruptcy goodness. I had just gone to the coffee bar to get myself some hot tea and I sat down and got back to work. In the midst of this mind-numbing work I reached over to take a bug gulp of tea, not thinking about the fact I had JUST gotten it. So I take a drink and it is BURNING, like fire, like hell, like really really hot water. I want to spit it out furiously, but I can’t because I am at my desk and it is covered with petitions and million dollar checks so I just let it dribble out onto my skirt, and of course it goes through my skirt and burns my leg. Why wouldn’t it right? I mean, why do it half assed? I might as well have poured it all over my boobies while I was at it. Anyway, I think all of the taste buds on the end of my tongue exploded, the roof of my mouth is mushy and sore, and my bottom lip feels like it has been locally anesthetized. Yesterday when I got home I ate a 50 pack of flavor-ices within 2 hours, no dinner. Fortunately I was still able to drink beer because it is cold. Now, I can’t eat anything hot, I can’t eat anything solid, I can’t eat anything too cold and I can’t eat anything spicy. So far all I have been able to eat is water. This is perfect timing too because we are going out of town this weekend.
I just thought all you folks out there who aren’t particularly crazy about me would find this funny in a satisfying way. I know I would.